January is commonly known as Divorce Month. When someone decides they are leaving their spousal relationship they may choose to wait before starting the separation process until the holiday season ends. Sometimes people associate the beginning of a year with a fresh start in various areas of their life – they commit to eating better and living a healthier lifestyle overall. And if they’ve been in a difficult spousal relationship, that too may be something they identify as needing to change: new year, new you and me.
Typically the first thing someone does when they decide to separate and divorce is some research. They might talk with friends or family members to find out who they recommend as a good divorce lawyer. They might hop online and google search where to start. They might engage ChatGPT to learn the steps to the separation and divorce process. Their research may be focused on gaining an understanding of their legal rights and obligations but the separation process itself is also important to understand.
In Saskatchewan, it is mandatory to engage in a family dispute resolution process before being allowed access to the family court. One of the process options for a family is to participate in mediation with a recognized family mediator. There are different styles of mediation and learning more about who can provided family mediation and their approach will help the family choose the best fit for their unique circumstances.
Some of the different kinds of mediation are:
- Transformative Mediation – this is where the parties take the lead and the mediator is present with a limited role.
- Narrative Mediation – the parties to the mediation share their experience of the relationship and together create a new story that includes both of their perspectives as a basis upon which to move forward and reach decisions together.
- Facilitative Mediation – the mediator assists the parties in identifying the issues for discussion, uncovering their individual and mutual interests, brainstorming and evaluating options.
- Evaluative Mediation – as the parties think of options for how to resolve their issues and create their pathway forward, the mediator weighs in on which options are best.
Some mediators use more than one style even within the same mediation as the family moves through the different stages of their separation process. For example, at the beginning, one spouse might be in the acceptance stage of grieving the loss of the relationship but the other spouse is still in denial. A transformative or narrative approach might be necessary for the parties before they are able to discuss possible resolutions to their substantive issues. However, families who have been separated for a long time and have felt stuck on how to move forward might benefit from an evaluative approach.
If you have been thinking about separation and divorce as you enter into this new year and would like to learn more about how mediation contact admin@commonsensemediation.ca to arrange for a consultation.
